Fantastic Four #48

50 years ago today...
Fantastic Four #48 by Jack Kirby and Stan Lee hits the newstands, featuring the first appearance of Galactus and the Silver Surfer.

Happy Birthday, Batman!

Today marks the 75th anniversary of Batman, who first appeared in Detective Comics #27, which was published on March 30, 1939.  In his first appearance, in the story "The Case of the Chemical Syndicate," Batman was not much more than a rip-off of the pulp character "The Phantom," but under the guidance of writer Bill Finger, as well as talented artists like Jerry Robinson, Dick Sprang, and many others, he quickly evolved into a full-fledged character in his own right, and is now the most popular superhero in comic book history.

For a fascinating history of the creation of Batman, I recommend you to head over to Robby Reed's Dial B for Blog for his three part series "The Secret origin of Batman."

• Chapter 1: "The Batman"
  
• Chapter 2: "Partners in Peril"
• Chapter 3: "The Haunting of Robert Kane"

Fresh Monkey Fiction's Amazing Heroes Action Figures

The folks at Fresh Monkey Fiction are gearing up for a new line of action figures that I'm pretty excited about.  The line is called "Amazing Heroes" and looks to be a double-dose of retro, featuring Golden Age comic book characters from the 1940s, done in the style of superhero action figures from the 1980s.  The figures are going to 4.5 inches tall, and the sculpts and articulation appear to be heavily inspired by Mattel's Secret Wars action figures, along with cloth capes that look straight out of Kenner's Super Powers line.  According to Fresh Monkey Fiction, "the plan is to match the "look and feel" of those 80s lines as much as we can, including the packaging."

Vintage Secret Wars and Super Powers Action Figures

Fresh Monkey Fiction are going to be revealing one figure a week for the next four weeks, beginning with the reveal of the first figure: "The Black Terror!"  The Black Terror has long been a favorite Golden Age comic character of mine, even without having read a lot of the comics, simply by virtue of his black costume, skull and bones emblem, and creepy name.  How can you not like that guy?

The Black Terror Action Figure

The other characters are described as "Man of Mystery," "Avenging Hero," and "Super Wizard."  I'm not sure who "Man of Mystery" or "Avenging Hero" will be, as those phrases could describe a lot of characters.  "Super Wizard," however, has got to be "Stardust the Super Wizard," who is one of the most wonderfully weird comic book heroes of all time.  Fletcher Hanks, his creator, was like some kind of mad genius and his comics are some of the most insane things ever committed to newsprint.  If you haven't read them yet, I highly recommend you check out the two collections of his comics that were published by Fantagraphics, "I Shall Destroy All The Civilized Planets!" and "You Shall Die by Your Own Evil Creation!"

Be sure and check out Fresh Monkey Fiction's Facebook page to get more info on these toys and see what other characters will be revealed in the coming weeks.

Batman's Weirdest Villains: Lucky Starr

LUCKY STARR
 
Real Name:  Joe Starr

Powers / Skills: Joe Starr believed he had the ability to defy death.  He leaped off tall buildings, handled volatile explosives, and did other activities that should have resulted in him getting killed, but he always survived unharmed.

Weird Obsession:  Joe Starr believed he knew the date he would die: December 13, 1947.  Until that day, he believed he could engage in life-endangering activities and always survive.  The closer he got to that date, the more he was compelled to pull increasingly dangerous and outrageous stunts.

First Appearance: "The Man Who Could Not Die" in World's Finest #32

History:
Joe Starr was a grown man who dreamed of being a big-time gangster, but the best he was able to achieve was being an "errand boy" for Trigger Smith's gang, as well as being the butt of their practical jokes.  Feeling depressed, he went to have his fortune told by a swami, who told him he was "born under a lucky star," and that he would receive a sign about his future from the darkness.

After the reading from the swami, Joe Starr decided to rename himself "Lucky" Starr, which made him an even bigger laughing-stock to the Trigger Smith gang.   But "Lucky" had faith, and one night a mysterious newspaper blew into his hands from a dark fog.  The paper was dated one year in the future, and foretold Lucky Starr's death after taking over Trigger Smith's gang and becoming Public Enemy Number 1.

"Hooray!  I only have one year left to live!"

Lucky now believed that he was invincible; that he could not be killed until the date in the newspaper, and that he was destined to take over the gang and become Public Enemy Number 1.  So the first thing he did was show up at the gang's headquarters and gun down Trigger Smith in front of the other members of the gang.  After taking over as the leader of the gang, he decided he needed to look the part of a gangster, so he started dressing up in a double breasted pinstriped suit, fedora, suspenders, watch chain... red tights, a cape, and bright yellow stars.

"The other gangsters laughed at me before, but with this new outfit, now they'll see that I deserve their respect!"

Lucky Starr and his gang then went on to commit a series of daredevil crimes, with Lucky constantly escaping unharmed from situations that would seem to guarantee certain death.

"The paper also told me about a 50% off sale on iron-on star patches at The Fabric Barn!  That's how I made this great costume!"

Unfortunately for Batman and Robin,  Lucky's glimpse into the future also showed him the movie Batman Forever, which he intended to stop at all costs.

As the date of his forecasted death approached, Lucky felt the need to commit increasingly spectacular crimes.  After several encounters with Batman and Robin, Lucky decided to boast to Batman about how he could not be killed, and showed Batman the newspaper from the future.  Batman pointed out the fine print at the bottom of the paper...

Note to Criminals:  It's never a good sign when Batman laughs.

It turned out that the newspaper was really a practical joke played on Starr by Trigger Smith.  Upon learning this, Lucky Starr lost his nerve and was no longer able to pull of his death-defying daredevil stunts, and was easily captured by Batman.

In a final, ironic twist, it turned out that the newspaper might have been more accurate than it seemed...

That final panel is some creepy stuff:  Lucky Starr grinning as he is led to his death, and the shadow of the electric chair looking like a carnivorous insect reaching out to kill him.  Pleasant dreams, kiddies!

Final Analysis:
Lucky Starr had no powers, no skills, and a ridiculous costume with bright yellow stars all over it.  Yet despite all of those shortcomings, he rose to the rank of Public Enemy Number 1, and outwitted and outperformed Batman for 6 months straight before his capture.  Because of this, Lucky easily joins the wacky ranks of "Batman's Weirdest Villains."

I like that the crowd on the street apparently has nothing better to do than count the smoke rings coming out of the "Puffs" cigarettes billboard.

BONUS! MUSIC VIDEO:

Radiohead - Lucky

Batman's Weirdest Villains: The Gong

THE GONG

Real Name:  Ed Peale
Also Known As: The Bell Bandit

Powers / Skills: The Gong has no special powers or skills, and even though he is a bell-themed villain, he doesn't have any cool bell gimmicks or weapons.  Instead he just carries a regular handgun. He's basically just this short, fat, weirdo criminal.

Weird Obsession:  Ed Peale is obsessed with bells.  Growing up he came to associate bells with submission to authority: The bell on his alarm clock forced him to wake up in the morning, when he would prefer to sleep all day.  The school bell forced him go to school.  The bell on the time clock at his job forced him to start his shift.  Eventually, his obsession with bells drove him insane, and he decided to "rebel" against bells by becoming a criminal and forcing bells to "obey" him.

First Appearance: "The Bandit of the Bells" in Batman #55

History:
Following his mental breakdown, Ed Peale decided to become a criminal in order to achieve mastery over bells.  It doesn't really make any sense, but the dude is clearly insane, so I guess "logic" doesn't need to figure in to it.  Peale read every book about bells he could find, and then named himself "The Gong," put together a gang, and embarked on a wave of crime.

"I'll show those inanimate objects who's the boss!"

After committing a variety of bell-themed crimes, The Gong and his gang eventually came face to face with Batman and Robin.  The gang promptly beat up the crime fighters, and then set them adrift in the ocean on a bell buoy to await their death by drowning.

Unfortunately for The Gong, Batman outsmarts him, by signalling a passing boat.

Batman and Robin next track down The Gong just as he is trying to steal a gold and jewel encrusted bell from a small town.  The Caped Crusaders try and stop him, but The Gong smacks Batman with the large bell, knocking him down, then shoots the tires on the Batmobile as he escapes.

At this point in the comic, The Gong has committed at least 5 bell-related crimes, and succeeded at every one.  He has also defeated Batman and Robin in combat twice.  And this is a guy with no real powers or skills at all.  He's just really in to bells, and carries a gun.  It's like Batman and Robin have trained so much to defeat impressive, master criminals, that they don't know what to do when faced with such a massive schmuck.

Batman and Robin next attempt to hunt down The Gong a third time.  This time Robin flies the Batplane around town, blasting a recording of the stolen bell on the Batplane's stereo.  Meanwhile Batman drives around in the Batmobile, with some kind of sound receiver doodad that listens to the sounds from the Batplane as they bounce off objects in the town.  Eventually, they find a matching set of vibrations, and track The Gong and his gang to an abandoned repair shop.

It's not a "record player," it's a "variable sonic oscillator."

This time, they don't go in alone, however, and bring the police along as back-up.  And the funny thing is, this gang has defeated Batman and Robin twice so far, but when they see the police, they all panic and surrender, without even trying to put up a fight.  That must have been really embarrassing for the Dynamic Duo.

The mere sight of the police is enough to make The Gong break out in to beads of sweat.

Batman tries to feel useful again by interrogating The Gong before he is hauled away by the police.  But this backfires on him, by allowing The Gonger to work himself up into an inane frenzied monologue, ranting about his hatred of bells...

Having reached a fever pitch of insanity, The Gong then leaps through the glass of second story window, and onto the street below.  From the street, the police chase him in to an alley.  Trapped in the alley The Gong barricades himself behind some trash cans, and the cops and the criminal exchange gunfire. 

"The Gong Strikes!"  ...by jumping through glass.

At this point, the Batman switches tactics.  Apparently realizing that his traditional method of bringing criminals to justice (i.e., punching them in the face) don't seem to work against The Gong, Batman instead starts loudly ringing a bell, over and over again.  And the sound is so annoying, that The Gong surrenders, just so he doesn't have to listen to it anymore.  At least in prison, The Gong won't have to listen to bells anymore...

Oh wait, never mind.  Sorry, Gong.

Final Analysis:
Ed Peale did not have a colorful costume, or interesting weapons, and in fact had no particular talents or skills of any kind, yet he he defeated Batman and Robin with little or no effort on several occasions.  Couple that with his insane and nonsensical obsession with bells, and The Gong easily joins the wacky ranks of "Batman's Weirdest Villains."

This panel sponsored by The Bell Council of America.  "Bells: ring one today!"

BONUS!  MUSIC VIDEOS:

T. Rex - Bang a Gong (Get It On)


The Ikettes - I'm Blue (The Gong-Gong Song)


tUnE-yArDs - Wooly Wolly Gong

Batman's Weirdest Villains: The Penny Plunderer

THE PENNY PLUNDERER

Real Name:  Joe Coyne

Powers / Skills: The Penny Plunderer's skills mainly consist of throwing loose pennies at people, or hitting them in the head with a roll of pennies.  He also occasionally rigs up rolls of pennies or penny slot machines as smoke bombs.

Weird Obsession:  The Penny Plunderer has a bizarre love/hate relationship with pennies.  He blames pennies for all his problems in life, yet he is obsessed with them as well, and bases all of his crimes around pennies.

First Appearance: "The Penny Plunderers" in World's Finest #30

History:
In "The Penny Plunderers," we are introduced to a sad-sack named Joe Coyne, and witness a quick history of his life, from childhood to adulthood.  As a child, he was bitter because he only earned pennies as a newsboy.  As an adult, he gets fired from his office job, when his boss catches him gambling on the job by "pitching pennies."  Finally, he turns to a life of crime, but is caught during his first robbery attempt, and sent to prison.  Plus, in an ironic twist, the cash register he was trying to rob only had pennies in it.  While in prison, he has a mental breakdown, and blames pennies for all of his troubles in life.   In his mania, he decides to rededicate himself to crime, and vows to make pennies his "crime symbol."  Whatever that means.

Can't really argue with that logic.

Upon Coyne's release from jail, he opens a penny arcade in Gotham City, which he creatively names "Penny Arcade."  But the business is really just a "front" for his crimes.  He then puts together a gang, and embarks on a series of penny-related robberies.  This quickly gets the attention of Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson, who both peg him as nut-job from the get-go.

Like "Water-on-the-Knee," "Pennies-on-the-Brain" is a serious, but sadly misunderstood, medical condition.

Batman and Robin confront The Penny Plunderer at the scene of his next crime:  a showing of a rare and valuable "penny stamp" at a local stamp and coin exhibition.  The exhibition features giant sized replicas of the stamp and of a penny, which is too much for the Plunderer to resist.  But Batman and Robin fail at their task, as Coyne defeats both of the heroes, by throwing pennies at them.

Fun Fact: Rolls of pennies are not actually very heavy or hard.

Although Joe Coyne gets away, Robin manages to capture "Skinny," one of the Plunderer's gang.  Batman interrogates the criminal and gets the location of the gang's hideout.  Then Batman and Robin leave Skinny with the police, and head to the hideout to capture Coyne and the rest of the gang.  Yet somehow, before the Caped Crusaders arrive, Coyne manages to send another one of his men to intercept the police, and free Skinny.  Then they take Skinny back to the penny arcade.  At first Coyne acts like he's happy to see Skinny, but then asks Skinny to step on a fortune-telling penny scale that he has in his shop.  The fortune has been rigged by Coyne, and reads:

"YOUR FORTUNE
It isn't good!
Your future is very dark!
The future is always dark for
STOOL PIGEONS!"

Skinny is then tied up to the penny arcade's shooting gallery, which apparently uses real rifles and bullets, and Coyne murders him.  Then, the gang hides out in the shadows, and wait for Batman and Robin to show up.  Then, finally, the Dynamic Duo arrives, despite the fact that they left first.  Maybe they took the Batmobile through a drive-through along the way and picked up some burgers.

Batman's reaction to a man being shot to death: "Tough."  That dude is stone cold.

Batman and Robin put up a good fight, and manage to beat up the rest of the gang, but they are still no match for The Penny Plunderer himself, who throws some loose pennies at Robin, and hits Batman in the head with a roll of pennies.  And manages to knock both of them out cold by doing this.

Later, Batman and Robin awake to find themselves tied up, and with their utility belts removed, in a room that is filling up with carbon monoxide.  But Batman uses his MacGyver-like skills to rig together a battery (using two pennies -- oh, the irony!) and put an S.O.S. signal over the phone wires, allowing the police to show up and rescue them.

"Thanks for the assist boys... but now Robin and I will take over."  Dude, you've already been defeated TWICE by someone throwing pennies at you.  Maybe you should let the professionals handle this one.

After escaping from the Penny Plunderer's death trap, Batman and Robin foil the Plunderer's latest penny crime.  This gets Coyne really frustrated, so he comes up with a plan to get rid of Batman and Robin once and for all.  His plan is to get Batman and Robin to chase him into a warehouse, where he will barricade himself inside, and then call up his gang on the telephone, who will then go to the warehouse themselves.  He tells his gang:

"I'll trick Batman into close quarters... then I'll call you!  I'll stall him till you guys come and we'll have him bottled up!  Get going... and remember - WAIT FOR MY CALL!"

It's not a plan that really makes any sense.  Then again, he's already defeated Batman and Robin twice just by throwing pennies at them, so I guess we'll give him a pass.  Unfortunately, when he finally "tricks" the Caped Crusaders into the warehouse, this happens:

Because of his irrational obsession, he both blames pennies for all his problems, and then feels "betrayed" by them when they don't come to his rescue.  In other words, the perfect mentality to be a Batman villain.

After being captured, Joe Coyne is sentenced to death, and that's pretty much the last we ever hear from him.

SENTENCED TO DEATH!  And since The Penny Plunderer did not return for any future appearances, I have to assume they actually carried that sentence out.

His legacy lives on in the Batcave to the modern day, however, thanks to Batman's souvenir he kept from this case: The Giant Penny.  The Giant Penny went on to become way more famous the the Penny Plunderer.  Eventually "The Penny Plunderers" story was retconned to make Joe Coyne a bank robber who Two-Face crushed to death with the penny, turning the penny into a Two-Face trophy instead.  But don't worry, Coyne, even if the rest of the world forgets, you'll always live on in my heart.

The original appearance of the Giant Penny.

The Giant Penny in the Batcave, sixty years later.

Final Analysis:
Even though he lacks a colorful costume, and he only made one major appearance, with his insane fixation on pennies, and his classic addition to Batman's trophy collection, The Penny Plunderer easily joins the wacky ranks of "Batman's Weirdest Villains."

BONUS! MUSIC VIDEO:
Louis Prima - Pennies From Heaven

Batman's Weirdest Villains: The Pied Piper

THE PIED PIPER

Real Name:  Unknown

Powers / Skills: The Pied Piper is a chemist and inventor.  He creates poisons, sleeping gasses, explosives, and smoke bombs in his lab, and then rigs them up to be used in all manner of pipes, including tobacco pipes, exhaust pipes, bagpipes, etc...

Weird Obsession:  The Pied Piper is obsessed with pipes.  All kinds of pipes... plumbing, smoking, whatever, as long as it has the word "pipe" in it.  He commits crimes using various pipes, and often targets people or places that have pipe-related names or themes.  Being obsessed with a particular type of pipe might make a little bit of sense, I guess, but all kinds of pipes?  I don't know, it seems a bit random.  It would be nice if we had an origin story that explained where his obsession came from, but nope, we don't.  My guess:  he saw René Magritte's "The Treachery of Images" in an art gallery, and it just blew his mind.

First Appearance: "The Pied Piper of Peril!" in Detective Comics #143

This is not a pipe.

History:
In "The Pied Piper of Peril," we are introduced to the Pied Piper, who has just opened up a new store, "Ye Olde Pipe Shoppe," in Gotham City.  It's a weird store that sells all kinds of pipes: plumbing, flutes, smoking pipes, whatever you can think of.  You know, just like they used to do in ye olden days.  But, we learn the store is merely a front for the Piper's true vocation: CRIME!  Hidden in the shop is a secret laboratory, where the Piper creates his crime pipes!

"Rocket pipes, glow pipes, edible pipes, you name it!  I've got pipes that you can keep in your pocket, and pipes that you insert in your nose!  I've even got a pair of flexible pipes that can be worn like trousers!  Yes, sir, if you want pipes, you came to the right place!"

The next day, the Pied Piper and his gang rob the Farmer's Bank, using smoke-bomb rigged corn-cob pipes, just like the kind farmers (and Popeye) like to smoke.  Batman and Commissioner Gordon get together, and they both agree that this robbery heralds the "return" of the Pied Piper, which is kind of odd, as this comic is his first (and only) appearance.  I guess with so many villains obsessed with random objects, they all must blend together after awhile.  Whether they are obsessed with polka-dots, rainbows, pennies, cameras, pipes, or whatever, Batman doesn't really care, as long as he gets to punch them in the face.

"Well actually, Batman, I was going to say, 'the return of one of those freaks that you like to punch in the face.'  But, 'The Pied Piper' is good, too, I guess."

On a hunch, Batman and Robin decide to pay a visit to that odd new pipe shop that just opened up in town.  Unfortunately, while they both come away from the shop convinced that the owner is some kind of weirdo, there is nothing there to prove any connection to the Pied Piper's pipe crimes.

"Seriously, what kind of weirdo doesn't keep detailed records of everyone he sells a corn-cob pipe too?  And don't get me started on all of those f---ing pipes!"

The Pied Piper then goes on to commit a further series of pipe-related crimes.  Batman and Robin get frustrated with not being able to catch him, so they basically say, "screw it," and illegally break in to Ye Olde Pipe Shoppe after dark to search for clues.  Luckily there weren't any duly deputized officers of the law around to see them... oh wait.  Anyhoo, the Caped Crusaders find a clue to the Piper's next crime, and this time are able to catch him in the act.

Breaking and Entering with Batman

What I'm not clear on is what a wealthy Scotsman disposing of fabulous crown jewels has to do with HAM.

However, the Piper proves to be too slippery for the duo.  First he slides down a drain pipe, then he ducks into a sewer pipe, where he slows Batman and Robin down by blowing poison darts at them from a blow pipe.  From there, he travels to an abandoned amusement park (Gotham City is full of those things), where he knocks over Robin using a roller coaster car he quickly built himself using some "reinforcing" pipes that were on the coaster.  Finally he just straight up clocks Batman in the head with a lead pipe that he was conveniently laying around on the ground.  Basically, the moral to this story is that Batman and Robin are helpless around this guy if he has any kind of pipe within his reach.  He is the MASTER OF ALL PIPES.

Only the Master of All Pipes could pull off that move, and in the Tunnel of Love, no less.

The next day, Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson are sitting around at home, brooding over their defeat by the Pied Piper, when a radio bulletin comes on announcing that tomorrow will be the debut of THE WORLD'S LARGEST PIPE ORGAN at the Gotham City civic center.  You gotta hand it to the people of Gotham City.  When super criminals commit crime waves, do they hide in fear?  No!  In fact, it's almost like they double-down on the risk-taking, and dare the criminals to make a move.  Is Mr. Camera committing a spree of camera-related crimes?  According to Gotham, that's the perfect time to throw a photography convention! The Joker just broke out of Arkham?  Let's throw a "Joker's Wild" poker tournament in that old abandoned toy factory!  The Pied Piper is robbing anything even remotely related to "pipes?"  Let's build the world's largest pipe organ!  What could possibly go wrong?

Naturally, the Pied Piper and his gang show up for the debut.  There plan is to rig the pipe organ up to emit sleeping gas, and then rob the cash and jewels off of everyone in the audience.  But Batman and robin are waiting for them.  They prevent them from using the sleeping gas, and then get into a big, awesome fist fight with them on the oversized keys of the giant organ.

"Please, we give up!  Just stop with the terrible puns!"

The Piper escapes again, but this time Batman and Robin track him down to an old coal mine.  Inside the mine shaft, the Piper pulls out an exploding pipe from his pocket, and threatens to suicide bomb himself if they don't let him go.  But, as he says this, he accidentally back up into an old stovepipe, and then inhales the soot into his windpipe, causing him to choke, and allowing him to be captured.  You see, in the end, pipes were his undoing.  It's ironic.

Final Analysis:
The splash page of this comic described the Pied Piper like this:

"In their long careers as crime-smashers, Batman and Robin have clashed with a host of crafty desperadoes.  Time alone will tell which one of these master menaces proves to be the Dynamic Duo's most formidable foe, but high on any list of such candidates would undoubtedly appear the infamous name of the criminal who from within his unique world of pipes reached out to terrify the whole of Gotham City - that bizarre creature known as..."The Pied Piper of Peril!"

With a build-up like that, how could the Pied Piper not join the wacky ranks of "Batman's Weirdest Villains?"

BONUS! MUSIC VIDEOS:

Crispian St Peters - The Pied Piper

Weezer - Hash Pipe


AC/DC - It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock ’n’ Roll)
 Possibly the only time that BAGPIPES were ever cool.  Plus, oh my god, look how young Angus looks in that video!  Bon Scott, R.I.P.