The Fly (1958)

The Fly (1958)

The Fly is a bit of a mixed bag as far as classic horror movies go.  It starts off strong, with a bloody scene of housewife Helene Delambre killing her scientist husband Andre by crushing him to death in a sheet metal press.  But it quickly derails as it flashes back to the events that lead up to this death. It seems like about two-thirds of the film establish what a nice, happy couple they were, and what a great family life they had, before the horror begins anew for the final third of the film.  Getting to know them is a good thing, otherwise we wouldn't care when things go bad, but they spend way too much time with it.  If they had cut back on the establishing stuff and spent more time drawing out the horror, instead of packing most of it in at the end, it would have been a much better paced movie.

"Hi folks, I'm The Fly!"

Still, it has some strong elements, and it is definitely a classic.  To begin with, the main monster, "The Fly," is awesome.  It's one of the all-time great movie monsters.  The scenes before the fly make-up is revealed, when Andre hides in his lab with a cloth draped over his head to hide his face, are very effective. I particularly like when he ate his meals by lowering his draped head over his plate.  You couldn't see what was happening, all you could do was hear the disgusting slurping sounds, but that was enough to let you know that something really horrible had happened to his face. And when his face is finally revealed as a giant fly head on the body of a man, it's not a let-down.  The make-up is still effective to this day.

I Spy With My Fly Eye

There are several highly memorable, iconic moments in this film, like when Andre's wife starts to scream at the sight of him, and the camera cuts to a kaleidoscope of screaming heads from the compound eye view of The Fly.  And of course the final scene when we finally see the reverse of the man with the head of a fly, the fly with a human head, screaming "help me" as it is about to be devoured by spider.  It's ridiculous, campy, and horrifying all at the same time.  Also notable is the supporting role by horror legend Vincent Price as Andre's brother Francois Delambre.  All in all, while not perfect, the film is still a sci-fi horror classic, and introduces one of the most unique and memorable movie monsters of all time, and is a must-see for all fans of vintage horror and science fiction films.

MORE SCREENCAPS AFTER THE BREAK...

The Black Cat (1934)

Boris Karloff!  Bela Lugosi!  Together in what might be the finest picture that pits the two against each other, a story about a Satanic cult, "inspired by" Edgar Allan Poe's The Black Cat.  Read all about it after the break.

The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951)

Stop me if you've heard this one before...  A supernatural being takes the form of a human Carpenter, and lives among the people.  He has come to Earth to deliver a message.  A message about putting  one's faith in a higher power.  A higher power that can lead to humanity's salvation if it is heeded, or it's damnation if it is not. However his message is met with disbelief, suspicion, and fear, and the people turn against him and kill him.  But miraculously, after his body is brought to his tomb, the man is resurrected.  He delivers one final message to his gathered followers before ascending into the heavens.

Sound familiar?  Wait, did I mention the fact that the man is a space alien named Klatuu, the tomb is a flying saucer, and the higher power is an unstoppable killer robot named Gort?  No, this isn't the secret theology of the Scientologists.  It's the plot of the 1951 sci-fi film, "The Day The Earth Stood Still!"

The Invisible Man (1933)

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You won't believe your eyes, in 1933's Universal Monsters classic

THE INVISIBLE MAN

Adapted from the classic H. G. Wells story of the same name, The Invisible Man is one of the best of the Universal Monsters movies.  It stars Claude Rains, in his first American film, as the Invisible Man, and was directed by James Whale of Frankenstein fame.  Like Whale's Frankenstein and The Bride of Frankenstein, the film mixes humor in with the horror and madness.

A Strange Face Appears in the Doorway

In the film, Rains plays a scientist who invents an invisibility formula, but makes the mistake of testing it on himself.  What he doesn't know is that the formula induces madness as well as invisibility, and he soon finds himself, tormenting innocent people, plotting murders, and fantasizing about ruling the world, instead of completing his research.

"This is unacceptable!  I distinctly asked for a tiny umbrella in my cocktail!"

Claude Rains is wonderful in a role that consists mostly of just his voice.  In his more rational moments, he sounds perfectly suited as an intellectual, scientific genius that created an invisibility formula.  But he also shines when his personality shifts to that of a giggling, homicidal madman.  In fact, it reminded me quite a bit of The Joker from the Batman TV shows, sort of halfway between the performances of Mark Hamill and Cesar Romero, making me wonder if Rains's performance had any influence on them.  My only criticism of the film is that I would have liked to see what his character was like before he took the formula, to better understand how it affected his mind.

"Blimey!  That bloke's got no blinkin' head!"

The special effects were groundbreaking when the film was released.  They still hold up, and are very entertaining to watch, today.  The Invisible Man spawned a number of sequels (the first starring Vincent Price, in his first horror role!) and remakes, but the original film is still probably the best.  I highly recommend it to any fan of classic horror.

Headline: "Invisible Man Slays Policeman."  Reader: "Says here, he was one day away from retirement."

More screencaps and a music video after the jump...

Breeders (1986)

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Alien rape monsters are on the loose in 1986's

BREEDERS

 

Breeders is cheaply made, sleazy trash.   It features amateurish acting, a monster in a cheesy rubber suit, low quality gore effects, and tons of naked women, in a story about alien parasites that rape virgins.  Sometimes, movies like this can be so bad that they are good.  Other times, they can just be boring, offensive, and no fun to watch.  This one has a bit of both... but mostly, it kind of sucks.

NAKED WOMEN
One thing this movie does have going for it is naked women.  If you like looking at naked women, then this movie's got them, and lots of 'em.  The women in this film are almost all strangely compelled to remove their clothes for no reason.

Walking Around Naked in the Boiler Room

A model, who is also a virgin, is on a photo shoot, when the crew leaves for lunch.  Alone in the studio, she decides to snort some coke, then strip off all of her clothes and do several minutes of nude stretching exercises, then she slowly caresses her body, like she is working up to masturbating.  Seems weird to me, but I'm a guy, so who knows?  Maybe all the women who watched this film were nodding their heads and saying, "finally, a movie that get what we do when we are alone in the workplace!"

Nude Workout in the Photography Studio

A nurse, virgin as well, comes home from work, then strips off all of her clothes in the kitchen, while cooking a pot of "Boiled New England Dinner."  This also seemed weird to me, but I'm not really familiar with Boiled New England Dinner.  Maybe it's traditionally cooked in the nude.  I'm not from New England, nor did I go to culinary school, so I guess I'll have it give this one a pass.

Naked While Cooking

A stylist receives a long-distance phone call from her Mom.  She strips off her clothes while talking on the phone, while discussing the fact that she is still a virgin.  Well, I guess our mothers saw us naked all the time when we were babies... so, that's like a totally natural reaction to hearing her voice?  No?  Umm...

"Hold on a second Mom, I wanna be naked when I talk to you."

Later in the film, women in hospital beds are compelled by alien mind control to strip off their hospital gowns and walk out of the hospital and to a secret lair under the streets of Manhattan.  Strangely, no one notices all these naked women walking around.

Wandering Around the Hospital Naked

The women in the film are all beautiful, too, in a natural looking way that you don't see in movies anymore in our modern plastic surgery era.  With a little bit of cellulite on their butts, a bit of a sag in their breasts, etc...  It's hard to enjoy looking at them, however, because each of them will inevitably be raped by an evil alien monster at some point in the film.  Typically in these 1980's horror movies, they had the slutty, sexually active girls attacked by the villain.  I guess since they decided that all these girls were virgins, they had to make them slutty in some other way, which is why they take off their clothes while boiling dinner, talking on the phone, or just walking down the street.

Naked Women in the Alien Breeding Pit

SO BAD IT'S GOOD
The acting, writing, and directing on this film are so terrible that I frequently found myself laughing out loud while watching it.  This would have been a great candidate for Mystery Science Theater 3000, if it wasn't for the fact that with all the nudity cut out, it probably wouldn't be long enough.

Inspecting a Victim

The film stars Teresa Farley as Dr. Gamble Pace, a doctor who is treating the victims of a series of bizarre rapes.  Miss Farley is very pretty, but she has absolutely no acting skills whatsoever (in fact, her only other credit is for the film "Bad Girls Dormitory," which was released the same year, has the same director, and many of the same actors as Breeders, making me wonder if the films were shot together).  Farley reads all her lines in an expressionless monotone, and shows no emotions until the final shot of the film, where she screams once and then cries, although as it goes on it becomes hard to tell if she is crying or laughing, and I don't think that was intentional.

Dr. Gamble Pace sleeps with her hair and makeup done, and the lights turned on.

Her costar is Lance Lewman as Detective Dale Andriotti, the detective investigating the rapes.  Lewman's acting is marginally better than Farley's but not by a lot.  Together they're like the Mulder and Sculley of 1980s New York.  There is a scene towards the end of the film where a victim of the alien parasite's body rips open and a rubber suit alien emerges from inside.  His transformation is increasingly gory and horrible, and the camera repeatedly cuts away to the doctor and the detective to get their reaction shots.  But neither actor is capable of emoting, so instead it just cuts to them with blank, unexpressive looks on their faces, making the scene unintentionally hilarious.

This is supposed to be a look of disgust and horror.

There is another scene in the film, where the doctor and the detective are in an abandoned subway tunnel.  They come up with a plan to activate the third rail of the train tracks, and decide to look for a source of electricity and a cable to connect it to the rail.  The doctor then stands in one place talking about looking for an electrical source, but never leaving the spot she is standing in.  She keeps her feet firmly planted in the same spot, unmoving, and just moves her head around a little to her right.  And then she says, "there it is," and spots an electrical source off camera.  The detective fares marginally better in his search for a cable.  He also never leaves the spot he is standing in, but he allows his body to rotate around 360 degrees in his search.  Luckily, it turns out there is a spool of electrical cable laying on the ground about 7 inches behind his foot.

Detective Andriotti points at General Zod and exclaims, "You're fuckin' bananas!"

Equally ridiculous is how they find their way underground in the first place.  While running blood tests on the rape victims, a doctor finds red dust from building bricks inside the women's blood cells.  And not just any brick dust, either, a rare brick that is only found in a handful of underground sights in the city.  Apparently the rapist has been spending time under the city, and getting the dust on him.  Then, when he rapes the women, the dust somehow gets inside their blood cells.  It's scientific.

Red Dust from Bricks Inside the Victims Blood Cells

There is also a minor subplot with a male nurse at the hospital.  I'm going to call him "Billy," but only because I don't feel like rewatching the movie to find out what his name actually was.  Billy likes to hang around in the rooms of the comatose rape victims.  He brings them flowers, touches their faces, and tells them he wants to go on dates with them when they wake up.  So, clearly, this guy is a creep of the highest order.  But, the movie doesn't seem to be aware of this, and treats him like he is a nice, sweet kid.  It kind of boggles the mind.

Billy, the Creeptastic Male Nurse, Brings Flowers to a Comatose Rape Victim

NOT-SO-SPECIAL EFFECTS
The special effects in the film are very goofy.  The alien monster just looks like a guy in a cheap rubber suit, to the point that it's unbelievable that anyone would look at him and think he's actually an alien.  It works to a certain extent early in the film, when you only see glimpses of the creature.  But when you finally see the alien from head-to-toe towards the end?  Not so much.

The Man in the Rubber Fly Mask

There is also a small deformed mutant creature that appears briefly.  From the neck down, it's obviously just a little person dressed in some rags, but the head prosthetic on the guy is cartoonishly fun, with misshaped bug eyes, and a jagged teethed vagina for a mouth.  I actually got a kick out of this guy, and wish he had a more prominent place in the film.

Vagina Face Mutant

BOTTOM LINE
Ultimately, even as a fan of bad movies, I can't bring myself to recommend this.  It definitely had it's moments, but too much of it was sleazy, or just kind of boring for me to fully endorse.

More screencaps after the jump...

The Raven (1935)

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Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, and Edgar Allan Poe collide in 1935's

THE RAVEN

"The Raven" is one of several works of Edgar Allan Poe that are referenced in the 1935 film of the same name.  It's not actually an adaptation of Poe's classic poem, but I guess calling the film "Bela Lugosi plays a weirdo doctor who is obsessed with Edgar Allan Poe" wouldn't have the same ring to it.

"Trust me, I'm a doctor."

In the film Lugosi plays Dr. Richard Vollin, a highly gifted, but creepy doctor who is, you guessed it, obsessed with Edgar Allan Poe.  Dr. Vollin was a genius surgeon, but he is now retired, and spends his time recreating torture devices from Poe stories in his basement dungeon.  However, he doesn't actually torture people in them.  It's really just a hobby for him.  He's not crazy in the beginning of the film, he's just a weirdo.

"Subtle" Symbolism

Dr. Vollin is coerced out of retirement by a local judge, when his daughter is comatized in an automobile accident.  After saving the woman's life, Vollin falls in love with her.  But the girl is not interested in him like that, and is engaged to be married to another man.  When the judge notices Lugosi's interest, he tells him to stay away from her, basically because he is too old, and and a creepy weirdo to boot.  And then Bela's character goes insane.

Creepy Peeper

The main flaw with this film is that Lugosi's character just sort of becomes insane.  There should have been a sense of increased longing and pressure on his part, before he finally has had all he can take and snaps.  But there isn't.  Instead, he's just a crazy guy who got crazier.  Mad Love, another horror film from the same year, starring Peter Lorre, had a very similar story about an eccentric doctor who falls in love, is rejected, and slowly goes insane.  That film really did it right.  Of course, it benefited by having a great actor like Lorre in the lead.  He could really sell the insanity.  Bela Lugosi simply doesn't have the same acting skills, and just hams everything up.  To be fair though, in his best roles that worked well for him. 

Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff: The Gruesome Twosome

Boris Karloff received top billing, but he's really more of a supporting character, and he doesn't appear until about a third of the way in to the film.  He's basically an "Igor" to Lugosi's mad scientist.  Karloff makes the most of his screen time, though, and delivers a much more believable performance than Lugosi.

The Pit's Pendulum

I don't think I'll be spoiling anything by saying that Lugosi's torture chambers play a big role in the finale of the film.  Overall, this was not on the same level of quality as the Vincent Price Poe films that would later be made in the 1960s, but it was still a good example of vintage movie horror.


More screencaps after the jump...

Laserblast (1978)

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Horror and Sci-Fi Collide in 1978's

LASERBLAST

Take THAT, Star Wars!

Laserblast is a cheaply made and often boring movie.  It is full of long meandering shots that any normal movie would have edited out.  For instance, the movie will show you an establishing shot of a car driving down the road, then it will cut to the inside of the car where two people are having a conversation while driving.   So far so good.  then, after about two lines of dialogue, it cuts back to the establishing shot of the car driving down the road, holds there for about a minute, then returns back to the interior of the car of two more lines of dialogue.  Then it's back to the establishing shot again, and the process is repeated until the conversation is over.  A scene that would take less than a minute in any other movie, is drawn out to five minutes here.  The whole movie is edited this way, and it can be very frustrating to watch.  It seems like the filmmakers shot a 30 minute short subject, and then through the miracles of really bad editing, and pointlessly long takes, stretched it out to feature length.  

Billy Shows Off His Mutated Teeth

Once you get past the bad editing and long takes, there is a story of sorts.  The protagonist is Billy, a shirtless 1970s teen dude who finds an alien laser gun, and an alien necklace, in the desert.  Then at night the necklace takes over his mind and turns him into some kind of Jekyll and Hyde type, and he goes around blowing people and things up with the laser gun.

In the '70s it was considered bad manners to button up your shirt.

One thing Laserblast does not skimp on is explosions.  There is fireball after exploding fireball in this move, as cars, planes, buildings, pinball machines, phone booths, and whatever else Billy gets his sights on all go up in flames.  Throw in some town bullies, an inept police force,  a mysterious government agent hot on Billy's trail, a couple of stop-motion animated aliens, and a brief appearance by Roddy McDowall as the town doctor, and you've got yourself a movie.  A good movie?  No.  But definitely a movie of some sort.

Roddy McDowall Intently Examines the Alien Artifact He Removed From Billy's Chest

The acting is universally bad, but in that grade Z movie way, where the bad acting actually becomes kind of entertaining.  Roddy McDowall gives a good performance, I suppose, but he's only on the screen for about two minutes.  Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith  has a more substantial role as Billy's girlfriend.  The actress has a strong cult following from her appearance in "Caged Heat" and other exploitation films, but really doesn't make much of an impression here.

The Aliens Attack

The film does have some decent special effects.  The stop-motion animation aliens are pretty well done, and Billy's "Alien Mr. Hyde" makeup is goofy, but fun.  Overall, the film is fairly entertaining despite it's flaws, and is worth watching for fans of bad movies.

Billy Goofs Around With His New Toy

More screencaps after the jump...

Halloween With The Addams Family (1964)

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HALLOWEEN WITH THE ADDAMS FAMILY

Halloween With The Addams Family

"Halloween With the Addams Family" was the seventh episode of The Addams Family TV series.  It originally aired the night before Halloween, October 30th, 1964.

Gomez Inspects Uncle Fester with a Carving Knife

The episode takes place on Halloween, as the Addams family prepares for the holiday.  Wednesday and Pugsley get dressed up in their costumes for a night of trick-or-treating, while the rest of the family prepare punch and other party favors for any guests who may show up at their door.  They receive two guests in the form of a pair of bank robbers (one of whom is played by Don Rickles!) on the run from the police.  They think the Addams mansion will make a good place to hide out, but soon realize they've gotten more than they bargained for in the Addams's twisted house of comedic horrors.

Unexpected Guests

The highlights of this episode include Wednesday and Pugsley's Halloween costumes, which are basically just twisted versions of normal people.  The costumes horrify the rest of the family, and Uncle Fester advises the children to say, "do not be  alarmed, we are only little children," when they encounter anyone so they don't frighten them while they are trick-or-treating.

"Do not be  alarmed, we are only little children."

Meanwhile the Addams family entertains their guests with Halloween activities such as "bobbing for the crab," and reading a Halloween poem.

Reading the Halloween Poem

Halloween Poem

'Twas Halloween Evening
And Through the Abode
Not a Creature was Stirring
Not Even a Toad
Jack O' Lanterns are Hung
On the Gallows with Care
To Guide Sister Witch
As She Glides Through the Air

(Drawn by Eight Beautiful Bats!)

And She Calls Out to Them:

Come Flitter, Come Flutter
Come Flapper and Flyer
Come Chitter, Come Chatter
Come Vicious Vampire

Bobbing for the Crab

Eventually the criminal duo cannot stand any further Addams family activities, and flee the home, preferring to risk arrest rather than spend one more minute engaging in any more ghoulish weirdness.

 Halloween With The Addams Family (1964)


More screencaps after the jump...

Deadly Friend (1986)

Deadly Friend (1986)

Movie review and screencaps

Deadly Friend

Deadly Friend is an odd movie.  It starts off as a 1980s teen romance picture, about a boy genius who wins the heart of the cute girl next door, with the help of his adorable and funny robot.  Sort of like what Short Circuit would be like if it was directed by John Hughes.  But Deadly Friend wasn't directed by John Hughes... it was directed by Nightmare on Elm Street's Wes Craven, and it is full of just as much violence, gore, and horror as it is of awkward teenage romance and cute robot hijinks.  It makes for a really disconcerting sensation, like two different movies have been mashed up together.  But that just makes the film wonderfully weird and fun to watch.

B.B., the Adorable 1980s Robot

Paul (played by Matthew Laborteaux) is a teenage genius, who has just moved to a new town with his single mom. He has built a robot named B.B. that can think and learn by itself.  He also conducts experiments on the brains of human cadavers at the local college.

Experimenting on a Human Brain

Paul quickly falls in love with Samantha (played by Kristy Swanson), the pretty girl next door.   When Samantha is killed, Paul is heartbroken, and steals her body from the hospital, inserts his robot's artificial intelligence microchip into her brain, and brings her back to life.  He hides her reanimated body in the tool shed, like a little kid hiding a stray dog. 

Smuggling a Dead Girlfriend Into the Tool Shed

But the girl that comes back is not the same. She is frightened, confused, and incoherent, and when she gets loose she seeks out violent revenge against the people who wronged both her and the robot B.B.

Thoughts of Revenge

This film had the makings to be a really great gothic fairy tale, a Frankenstein story combined with the pains of adolescent love.  The original Dr. Frankenstein was a bit of a madman, but when you turn him into lovesick and heartbroken teenage boy, he becomes a lot more sympathetic.  Unfortunately, this feeling is undermined by all the cartoonish and ridiculously over-the-top gore sequences.  These scenes don't fit in with the rest of the picture at all, and seem like they were stitched in from another movie.  There are even several dream sequences added to the film, for seemingly no other reason than to add fountains of spurting blood.  Still, I am a fan of cartoonish and ridiculously over-the-top gore sequences, so even though they don't fit in with the rest of the film at all, they're still a lot of fun to watch.

Say Goodbye to Your Skull

The film ends with a ridiculous twist ending that really makes no sense compared to everything that had happened in the story up to that point, although it is consistent with the nightmare sequences.   My best guess is if there had been a sequel it would have begun with the final scene from this film followed by Paul waking up from his latest nightmare.   Of course there was no sequel, so I find it best to just dismiss the final scene altogether.

Umm... Scary Robot?

While it might seem like director Wes Craven is to blame for all the out of place violence and gore, apparently that was not the case.  He originally filmed the movie as a dark romance, without all of those scenes.  But the initial test screenings for that version of the film were negative, so the studio forced Craven to go back and add in all the violent gore scenes after the fact, to help make the film more commercial as a horror picture.  As it is, I still like this film quite a bit, but I can't help but imagine what Craven's original version might have been like.  I suspect it may have been a minor masterpiece.

Rating: 3½ Robots (out of 5)

More screencaps after the jump...