Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Mentally Deficient Christmas Music



















Here is a god-awful Christmas song I recorded last year: Rudolph the Sexy Reindeer.  The music samples an instrumental version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer by Arthur Lyman, plus some crappy loops and things I threw together on my computer.  Top that off with some terrible lyrics, sung in a poorly imitated "Perverted Peter Lorre" voice, and you have the following song.  I am deeply ashamed of this track, so naturally I thought it would be a good idea to post it online for the world to hear.

Merry Christmas!

Music and lyrics after the break...







Rudolph The Sexy Reindeer

You know Dasher, and Dancer,
And Prancer, and Vixen,
Comet, and Cupid,
And Donder and Blitzen
But do you recall
The sexiest reindeer of all

Oh Rudolph!
You're so sexy!
All the lady reindeer want to make love to you!
And you just stand there
With that red nose on your face,
And say "ahh, yeah!
You know I'm sexy"

Rudolph, the sexy reindeer
Had some very sexy clothes
And everywhere that he went
He got all the ho's.

All of the other reindeer
Used to call him sexy names
They always wanted Rudolph
To play in their sexy games.

Oh Rudolph!
You're so sexy!
With your tight Italian jeans
(The kind the ladies like)
And your thin greasy mustache
You know you got it going on!

Rudolph, the sexy reindeer
Had some very sexy clothes
And everywhere that he went
He got all the ho's.

All of the other reindeer
Used to call him sexy names
They always wanted Rudolph
To play in their sexy games.

Then one sexy Christmas eve
Santa came to say:
"Rudolph with your pants so tight,
The ladies think your out of sight"

Then all the reindeer loved him
As they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the sexy reindeer,
You're so damn sexy!

Oh Rudolph!
You're so sexy!
When I stand next to you
Under the mistletoe,
Running my fingers through your fur,
You make me fee like an excited child
On Christmas morning

Rudolph, the sexy reindeer
Had some very sexy clothes
And everywhere that he went
He got all the ho's.

All of the other reindeer
Used to call him sexy names
They always wanted Rudolph
To play in their sexy games.

Oh Rudolph!
You're so sexy!
If only you were a woman,
And, not, you know, an animal!
Then I could make love to you,
Without breaking the law

Rudolph, the sexy reindeer
Had some very sexy clothes
And everywhere that he went
He got all the ho's.

All of the other reindeer
Used to call him sexy names
They always wanted Rudolph
To play in their sexy games.

Then one sexy Christmas eve
Santa came to say:
"Rudolph with your pants so tight,
The ladies think your out of sight"

Then all the reindeer loved him
As they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the sexy reindeer,
You're so damn sexy!

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