|What's in the 99 Cents Store Bag?|
MILITARY PLAY SETS
|Qi-shi Ho - A Real American Hero|
According to the package, these "Force of Action" Military Play Sets come with the following fascinating features:
- Fully Articulate
- Total Realism
- Latest Trend Version
|"It's our party, we can do what we want."|
Right off the bat, I've got to say, these might be the butt-fugliest action figures I have ever seen. I mean just look at these guys. First off, we have some sort of ski-mask ninja with two "Little Orphan Annie" black dots for eyes. He looks like he is just peed his pants in a combination of confusion and fear.
|"A g-g-g-g-ghost? Zoinks!"|
|"But what really knocked her out was my cheap sunglasses. Oh yeah!"|
|Geez, China, when I made that joke about "total realism" meaning a head wound, I didn't expect you to actually do it!|
|"Which way to Miley Cyrus's house?"|
The fact is though, I didn't really buy these packs for the action figures, I bought them for the accessories. Each figure comes with 5 or 6 pieces, including guns, shields, and even a kayak, and they looked like they would be great to use with some of my real 3 3/4" inch action figures. So I grabbed a handful of action figures I had nearby to test them out. Testing out these accessories will be two of the Power Lords Power Soldiers by the Four Horsemen, as well as Zica Toys' Six Million Dollar Man and Bionic Bigfoot figures.
To begin with, it turns out that the Power Lords figures hand openings are too small to grip any of the accessories in these packs, which is a disappointment. However, the handle from the riot shields was able to snap on to their wrists, so they could use those. And actually, equipping a small army of Power Soldiers with those shields could look pretty cool. I'm currently waiting for a package to come in the mail from the Four Horsemen with a bunch more of these soldiers, so I might end up doing that.
The rifles that came in these packs look great, there is way more detail in their sculpts than there is in the crappy action figures. But, and this is a pretty big but (cue Beavis and Butthead laughter), the handles aren't designed to fit in the action figures hands! Instead, two of the rifles have pegs toward the end of the rifle that fit into an action figures hand, but this means that the trigger for the gun ends up sitting around the action figure's elbow. That is lame! The third rifle doesn't even have one of those pegs. I was able to squeeze it into one of the action figure's hands, but I had to point the gun sideways to do it, so there really wasn't really any point.
|"Triggers? I don't need no stinkin' triggers!"|
Finally, there is this nifty machine gun toy that comes on it's own tripod. It can rotate up and down and side to side, and looks really cool. Plus, I was stoked to find that Steve Austin's hands fit on the handles perfectly, like the toy was designed for him.
|Maskatron Doesn't Stand a Chance!|
Even though half the items in the package turned out to be duds, at a dollar a piece, it didn't really matter. I'll definitely be heading back to pick up some more of the machine guns, shields, and kayaks, as well as seeing if there are any other varieties that I missed.
BONUS! MUSIC VIDEOS:
Kate Bush - Army Dreamers
Fear - Let's Have a War
Black Sabbath - War Pigs (Live in Paris, 1970)