Hi, folks, Your Weird Uncle here. If you've been reading my posts for the last few days, you'll know I've been trying to watch family friendly Christmas movies with my three nephews: Harry, Mark, and John. But all the movies we've watched have turned out to be creepy horror movies disguised as Christmas movies. I had no idea that such a thing even existed. Honestly, me and the little tykes are all feeling a little psychologically traumatized by these films. If we don't pick a good one soon, I think our brains are going to explode.
|Me and my three nephews are ready to learn the true meaning of Christmas with a loving African-American family.|
Black Christmas (1974)
It turns out that there are only two black people in this entire movie, and they were just extras in the background of one scene! Then why did they call it "Black" Christmas, you ask? Try black as in "darkness," black as in "shadows," black as in "death!" That's right, it's another MURDER MOVIE disguised as a CHRISTMAS FLICK! This one is about a crazy psycho killer who murders a bunch of girls in a sorority house on Christmas Eve! It's a lot like the movie "Halloween," if that one had taken place on Christmas instead of The Devil's Holiday.
|"Agnes? Is that you? It's me, Billy!"|
|A Pile of Dead Sorority Girls on Christmas Eve|
MORE SCREENCAPS AFTER THE BREAK...
|Margot Kidder with Booze in One Hand and a Cigarette in the Other|
|Ladies and Gentleman: The 1970s.|
|The Sorority Girls Listen to the Serial Killer Moan Weird Things Over the Phone|
|Margot Kidder Gets Kind of Turned on by the Phone Moaner|
|See those two black people in the background? Those are the only black people in the entire movie. Talk about "false advertising."|
|Margot Kidder is Getting That Little Boy Drunk (note: that's actually what's happening in this scene, it's not me making a snarky comment)|
|Scared Old Lady|
|The Police Organize a Search Party to Look for Dead Bodies|
|Keir Dullea Poses Dramatically in Front of a Christmas Tree|
|Stabby Unicorn Crystal|
|Margot Kidder's Bedroom has a Skull on the Wall|
|Creeper at the Window|
|John Saxon Hunts a Killer|
|"Open the pod bay doors, HAL."|
|Dead Girl in the Attic|