Millions of Unusual Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere!

Okay, I may not have "millions" of unusual small creatures lurking everywhere, but I have 53 of them.  That's a start.

While I was thrift store shopping for cool toys the other day I came across a big sack of M.U.S.C.L.E. men.  They aren't something I normally collect, but there were 53 M.U.S.C.L.E.guys, plus a few other figures, all for less than 3 bucks.  At that price, I couldn't resist.  I set them up on an Imaginext Space Station playset that I bought at the same store for less than 4 bucks.  Check them out after the break!

99 Cents Store Double Feature Part 2: Military Play Sets

Hey there!  Welcome back to the second installment of my exciting two part exposé on weird junk I bought the other day at my local 99 Cents Only Store.

What's in the 99 Cents Store Bag?

 Last time, I showed some pictures of a couple of boxing skeleton toy candy containers.  Today, we will be exploring the world of modern warfare, as I play with...

MILITARY PLAY SETS

Qi-shi Ho - A Real American Hero

I picked up three packs of "Military Play Set" toys at the 99 Cents Store.  Each pack comes with a 3 3/4" military action figure, and a variety of accessories. Read what I thought about them after the break... featuring special appearances from The Six Million Dollar Man and the Power Lords!

99 Cents Store Double Feature Part 1: Halloween in July

Hi kids!  I stopped in to my local 99 Cents Only Store yesterday, and found some fun stuff to post in ye olde blogge.  So without further ado...

What's in the 99 Cents Store Bag?

HALLOWEEN IN JULY

One of the first things I noticed at the 99 Cents Store was that they already have Halloween products on their shelves, and it's only July!  Can you believe it?  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.  Halloween is far and away my favorite holiday.  Heck, if it was up to me, Halloween would be once a month, not once a year.  They don't have their full selection of Halloween items yet, as half of their seasonal section is still full of Summer-themed items like cheap sunglasses and beach balls, but they still have a lot of stuff.  They have a whole aisle section of weird Halloween candy, like gummi eyeballs and lollipop skulls, as well as another section with a small assortment of rubber masks and costume pieces.  I don't need any of that stuff, but I wasn't going to leave there empty handed, so I picked up a couple of these...

"Hello sir, we have some free literature we'd like to share with you.  Did you know that Jesus Christ was actually a skeleton?  It's true!  This pamphlet will tell you all about it."

What the heck are those guys?  Find out after the break!

The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries - Sole Survivor (1978)

"Sole Survivor" is an interesting episode of the Hardy Boys.  It opens with Joe Hardy slipping in and out of consciousness in an ambulance after some kind of accident.  He finally wakes up in a hospital in Hong Kong, and is told that he has been in a coma for a year, and that his brother and father are dead.  Heavy stuff.  Of course, since the show wasn't retitled "The Joe Hardy Mysteries," it won't come as a surprise that all is not as it seems.  But it's still interesting to watch Joe as he reacts to his new circumstances, and then starts to unravel the mystery.

Doctors Examine Joe's Hairless Chest

The style and tone of the episode is also a bit different than usual.  It kind of seems like a cross between a film noir and an Italian giallo, albeit one filtered through a 1970s television sensibility.  In particular, there's a few scenes that take place in an closed clothing store in the dark, with the rooms full of shadowy mannequins, that were just a violent stabbing away from being part of a Dario Argento flick.

A Killer Stalks the Fashion Boutique

Eventually we check in with Joe's brother and father, Frank and Fenton.  Just as Joe was told that they were dead, they believe that he is dead, after his car is fished out of a river, but no body was found (they believe it washed out to sea).  It's kind of weird, because the show has the brother and father react not with tears or grief, but with extreme stoicism.  They lay on their hotel room beds fully clothed, with the lights on, just sort of staring into space, and then Fenton grits his teeth and basically says that they are in Hong Kong with a job to do, and they can grieve for Joe after they finish it.  I guess in 1978 this was supposed to show Fenton's strength of character, but by modern standards it seems unfeeling and f---ed up.  It wouldn't hurt your masculinity to show some emotion, and maybe give your son Frank a hug, Fenton!

Frank and Fenton Sleep in their Hotel Room.  Fully Clothed and With the Lights On.

Overall, I found this to be decent episode, and the focus on Joe having to unravel a mystery on his own was a nice change of pace.

BONUS!  MUSIC VIDEOS:

Herman's Hermits - Sleepy Joe





 The Rolling Stones - Soul Survivor


More screencaps after the break...

The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Mystery of the Silent Scream (1977)

The Mystery of the Silent Scream

This episode begins with Larry Storch (most famous for his role as Corporal Agarn on the old TV series "F Troop") playing a washed-up Vegas stand-up comedian, slanting his eyes and delivering a racist impression of a Chinese person.  Looking at this from a modern day perspective, it's not clear to me whether the producers of the show actually wanted us to laugh at this, or if it's there to indicate what an unfunny hack Storch's character is supposed to be.   Hopefully the latter, although I have a sneaking suspicion that might not be the case.

"Ah, so... me Chinese, me play joke, me go pee-pee in your... hey, why is everyone booing me?"

Storch's character, in addition to being a washed-up opening act with delusions of grandeur, is also massively in debt due to a gambling problem.  His solution to his financial woes is to become a mad bomber of the casinos.  He rigs up a variety of remote-controlled bombs and plants them in various spots in the casinos, and then threatens to blow them up unless the casinos pay him off.  Rather than just take the money and leave, however, which would seem to be the sensible thing to do, Storch dresses up in a disguise (the two we see are "Hippie" and "Old Man") and then proceeds to make losing bets at the roulette wheel, and forces the casino to pay him as if he was winning.  This causes large crowds to gather around the table, and wonder why they are paying a guy who is clearly losing.  Apparently Storch feels like this will humiliate the casinos in some way, and add to his sense of revenge.  It doesn't really make any sense.  It seems like the show's producers just decided it would be fun to dress Storch up in some silly costumes, and worked backwards from there.

Larry Storch's "Hippie" Disguise

Storch also has a co-conspirator or conspirators who he speaks with on the phone, but it's never clear exactly who he's talking to.  The person he talks to sounds like the brains of the operation, but the only conspirator we ever see on the show seems like a hired thug, and is wearing what looks like a parking valet's uniform.  I'm guessing it's just another disgruntled casino employee who Storch recruited to his cause.  However, Storch's telephone conversations are what eventually becomes his undoing.  Two young women are on a trip to Las Vegas, and one of them is a deaf lip-reader, who sees Larry Storch talking about his bombing plans on a pay phone and reads his lips.  The girl and her friend try to report him, but no one will take them seriously.  One of the casino bosses takes pity on them, though, and gives them free passes to a Trini López concert with Larry Storch as the opening act.  Which is kind of a dick move when you think about it, giving tickets to listen to a singer and a vocal impressionist to a deaf girl.

Some interesting symbols on Larry Storch's casino chips.  Most of them have a star and crescent moon on them, which symbolizes Islam.  But then there is one stack that has a triangle inside of a circle, which could represent the Illuminati... or Alcoholics Anonymous.  That means that you lucky conspiracy theorists out there can now tie "The Hardy Boys" in to your insane belief systems!  No need to thank me all at once.

Even though the casino bosses and police don't take the girls seriously, they run into someone else who does: The Hardy Boys!  Things get off to a rocky start though, when the girls run the Hardys off the road (they were driving away in fear after reading Larry Storch's lips).  When the Hardys see the girls later at the casino, Joe yells at the deaf girl, and then is humiliated and ashamed when he learns she is deaf.  He then tries to make it up to her by talking down to her like she was a child while simultaneously trying to romance and make out with her.  The whole thing comes across as pretty skeevy, really.  The idea that deaf people are just normal people who just happen to be deaf, and should be treated more or less the same as everyone else never seems to occur to him.

Joe Makes Out With His Girlfriend-Of-The-Week While Frank Watches.  There's No Telling Which One is More Turned On.

Over all, this wasn't one of the better episodes of the Hardy Boys.  Even with Larry Storch dressed in a "Hippie" costume, it just wasn't weird or spooky enough to really excite me the way my favorite episodes of this series do.

...and a Bumper Sticker That Says "No Other Possibility"

FUN FACT:
Larry Storch has had a long career as recording artist, stand-up comedian, and actor in both television and film.  He also lent his voice to many cartoons, my favorite being Filmation's The Batman/Superman Hour from 1968, where Storch became the first actor to voice The Joker in animation.

The Joker

BONUS!  "Mystery of the Silent Scream" MUSIC VIDEOS:

Elvis Presley - Mystery Train


The Electric Soft Parade - Silent to the Dark


The Cure - Baby Screams


More Hardy Boys screencaps after the jump...

The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Creatures Who Came on Sunday (1977)

The Creatures Who Came on Sunday

In "The Creatures Who Came on Sunday" the Boys are driving their van across country to Las Vegas, but they decide to make a detour to Justice, New Mexico to check in on their old friend Bonnie who might be in trouble.  It seems Bonnie's boyfriend has disappeared, but no one in town is taking her story seriously.

 Bonnie is Run off the Road by a UFO

There are two reasons why nobody is taking Bonnie seriously:

1. Bonnie thinks her boyfriend was abducted by aliens.
2. Bonnie used to be a mental patient (but she got help and is much better now, thank you)

Bonnie is Ignored by the Sheriff

The Boys are split about what to do.  Joe wants to write her off as a kook, and continue on to Las Vegas.  Frank however, is willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, and convinces Joe to stay and investigate.  Joe and Frank are put under pressure from the local sheriff and a couple of federal agents to lay off the investigation and get out of town, but of course this has the opposite effect, convincing the brothers that there is a real mystery to solve.

Boys on the Road

Along the way, the Hardys encounter a lot of weird stuff.  Their van nearly gets run off the road by a UFO.  They discover an underground bunker full of people with bandaged faces.  They meet a pair of rifle-toting park rangers, who might actually be undercover military men or federal agents.  They meet a pair of federal agents, who might actually be mafia hitmen or foreign spies.

The Underground Bunker

Possibly the weirdest thing is when they discover a group of families in an isolated spot in the mountains playing baseball.  Frank asks someone what the score is, and is immediately treated with suspicion and marked as an intruder, because none of the people there actually know how to play baseball.  They are just going through the motions, imitating what they have seen other people do.  Creepy.

Strangers Pretend to Play Baseball

All of this weirdness with UFOs and government agents makes the episode play out like a low-rent version of the X-Files, although the episode concludes with the boys uncovering logical, non-alien related explanations for everything they encounter.  They do get in one final "maybe they are aliens after all" moment in, however, right before the screen freezes and the credits roll, making for a fun ending.

Watched by a Mysterious Man in Bandages

THINGS TO WATCH FOR:

• There's a cameo appearance in this episode from Tony Dow, famous for his role as Wally Cleaver in the 1950s sitcom Leave it to Beaver.  He plays the radar operator at the airport that the Hardy Boys talk to while they are investigating the UFO sightings.

"Gee, Beaver, there's no such thing as UFOs!"

BONUS!  MUSIC VIDEOS:

The Rezillos - Flying Saucer Attack


The Ramones - Zero Zero UFO


More Hardy Boys screencaps after the jump...

The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries - Oh Say Can You Sing (1978)

In "Oh Say Can You Sing," the Hardy Boys drive their van to Spencer Valley, U.S.A., so Joe can sit in with some band and sing a couple of songs as part of Spencer Valley's Independence Day festivities.  I'm not exactly sure where Spencer Valley is supposed to be.  I guess it's in driving distance of the Hardy's home in Bayport, but it looks like it was a long drive.

Joe Hardy seems to inexplicably famous in Spencer Valley, as the crowd goes nuts when he takes the stage.  Now this would make sense if it was happening in real life, and Shaun Cassidy was taking the stage, but I don't think his character Joe Hardy is supposed to have a legitimate music career.  As far as I know, he's just some kid who plays local gigs around his town with his friends.  So seeing the crowd get all excited for him seemed a little weird, but it was still fun to watch Joe Hardy prance around the stage.

Power Pose

They also made use of the recurring gag on the series, where as soon as Joe starts singing Frank ignores him and walks away to do something else.  I always get a a kick out of that.

Frank Hardy ignores Joe's singing and has a conversation with some creepy guy on the side of the stage.

The Electric Kool-Aid Man

The show had an actual mystery to solve this time around, involving drug smuggling and attempted murder, giving the boys opportunities to do some actual detective work.  I always like it when they get to be detectives, and not just get involved in some kind of random adventure. What it lacked was anything spooky or weird to help push it over the top.  Overall I'd say it was a halfway decent episode.

Joe Finds a Mystery Note

THINGS TO WATCH FOR:

• The lead singer of the band Joe was sitting in with was played by Debra Clinger, who is most famous as Superchick from Kaptain Kool and the Kongs.  Kaptain Kool and the Kongs were a fake glam rock band created by Sid and Marty Kroft to act as hosts of The Krofft Supershow.  The Krofft Supershow was a live action variety show that aired on Saturday morning in the 1970s, featuring segments of shows like Electra-Woman and Dyna-Girl, Dr. Shrinker, Bigfoot and Wildboy, and Magic Mongo, among others, interpsered with songs and jokes performed by the Kongs.

Superchick Keeps a Fake Smile Plastered on Her Face at All Times While She is Singing,   It's Kind of Creeping Me Out.

Joe Hardy Rocks the Mike

BONUS! MUSIC VIDEOS:

Kaptain Kool & The Kongs on the Brady Bunch Variety Hour


Jimi Hendrix - The Star-Spangled Banner
 

More Hardy Boys screencaps after the jump...

Happy Birthday, Batman!

Today marks the 75th anniversary of Batman, who first appeared in Detective Comics #27, which was published on March 30, 1939.  In his first appearance, in the story "The Case of the Chemical Syndicate," Batman was not much more than a rip-off of the pulp character "The Phantom," but under the guidance of writer Bill Finger, as well as talented artists like Jerry Robinson, Dick Sprang, and many others, he quickly evolved into a full-fledged character in his own right, and is now the most popular superhero in comic book history.

For a fascinating history of the creation of Batman, I recommend you to head over to Robby Reed's Dial B for Blog for his three part series "The Secret origin of Batman."

• Chapter 1: "The Batman"
  
• Chapter 2: "Partners in Peril"
• Chapter 3: "The Haunting of Robert Kane"