|Have a Ho-Ho-Holiday from "Silent Night, Bloody Night"|
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) - Movie review plus screencaps:
|Silent Night, Deadly Night|
Silent Night, Deadly Night is a ridiculous cheese-fest of a horror movie that had me howling at the screen in laughter in between all of the stabbings and dismemberments. If you're a fan of "so bad they're good" horror movies, then this is a film for you.
|The Night Before Christmas|
The film begins in 1971, as we see a young boy named Billy's beliefs about Santa Claus twisted into psychosis. The fun starts as the boys parents take him and his baby brother to the insane asylum on Christmas Eve to visit his mentally disturbed grandfather. Then, using the finest bad movie logic, they decide it would be a good idea to leave young Billy alone with this insane old man, while the rest of the family goes off with the doctor to look over some paperwork. This goes over about as well as you would expect. The old man grabs a hold of the boy and goes off on an insane monologue. "Christmas Eve is the scariest damn night of the year, " he says, "Santa Claus only brings presents to them that's been good all year... all the other ones, the naughty ones, he punishes! You see Santa Claus tonight you better run, boy! You better run for your life!"
Creepy, but not enough to drive a kid crazy, right? Well, don't worry, this film ain't done with little Billy yet. On their way home from the insane asylum, the parents encounter a man whose car has broken down on the side of the road, and pull over to help. But it's not just any man, it's a man in a Santa Claus suit. What a coincidence. Oh, did I say a man in a Santa suit? I meant to say, it's a violent, gun-toting criminal in a Santa suit, who sexually assaults Billy's mother, and murders her and her husband right before little Billy's eyes.
Poor little Billy. He's going to need some tender loving care if he is going to grow up normal and healthy after this. Instead, he and his baby brother are sent to an orphanage run by a strict old nun. He's mostly a good boy at the orphanage, except around Christmas time, when he gets moody and misbehaves, which is understandable under the circumstances. Unfortunately, the strict old nun's idea of helping Billy get over his trauma is to try and make him sit on Santa Claus's lap (what little boy wouldn't want to sit on the lap of them man he watched murder his parents?), and then whip him when he freaks out.
|I Wupped Santa's Ass|
Despite this, Billy somehow grows up to be somewhat normal. Yeah, he still has nightmares about Santa Claus, and he has a bit of a complex about being good and getting punished, but no more than you would expect from someone who has endured his traumatic upbringing. When he turns 18, the nuns help him get a job and join the adult world. Unfortunately, they help him get a job at a toy store right before Christmas. For someone who is so traumatized about Christmas and Santa Claus, this probably wasn't the best choice. Especially when the toy store Santa Claus calls off sick, and Billy has to fill in for him. Once Billy is dressed in his Santa Claus outfit, he goes off the deep end, and starts killing everyone he believes to be "naughty."
|Billy in the Santa Suit|
We then get treated to a series of fun Christmas themed murders, like one guy who gets strangled with Christmas lights, and a woman who gets impaled on reindeer antlers. Billy even chops the head off of a snowman for good measure.
This film is also chock full of naked 1980s boobies, including those of "Return of the Living Dead" star Linnea Quigley. If you're a fan of women's breasts exposed on film for no good reason, then you'll find a lot to like about this film.
|Linnea Quigley Versus Santa Claus|
The film ends on a hilarious note, as Billy is gunned down in the orphanage in front of all the orphans, just before he was about to introduce his axe to the head of the strict old nun. The camera then pans up to Billy's little brother who points at the nun and says, "naughty, naughty!" So it looks like the torch will be passed along for the sequels!
|Santa Claus is Dead|
Christmas elements in Silent Night, Deadly Night include:
- A variety of different men in Santa suits, including a priest, a violent criminal, and an insane serial killer.
- Christmas decorations.
- Kissing under the mistletoe.
- Christmas presents.
- Children eagerly awaiting the arrival of Santa on Christmas Eve.
- A child reads a "The Night Before Christmas" illustrated storybook.
- Christmas music on the radio.
- Christmas carolers.
- Christmas music sung by nuns and orphans.
- Children making Christmas drawings in school.
- A toy store.
- The killer recites lines from "A Visit from St. Nicholas (aka 'Twas the Night Before Christmas)" as he stalks one of his victims.
|Rating: 4 Robots (out of 5)|
More screencaps after the jump...
|Christmas Eve, 1971|
|Utah Mental Facility|
|Santa Robs a Convenience Store|
|Santa on the Road|
|Santa Has a Gun|
|Gun Firing Santa Claus|
|Santa Slits Mommy's Throat|
|Saint Mary's Home for Orphaned Children|
|Whipped by a Nun|
|Bloody Nose Santa|
|Spring, 1984 - Ten Years Later|
|I totally had that Batman costume when I was a kid!|
|Star Wars Toys|
|Jabba the Hut Action Playset|
|Santa Has a Blood Stained Knife|
|Santa Gives a Cute Little Girl a Bloody Box Cutter|
|Santa's Axe Dripping With Blood|