Monday, February 4, 2013

The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries - Wipe-Out (1977)

The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries

So, apparently Frank Hardy is a World Class Surfer.

At least he was in this latest episode of the Hardy Boys Mysteries, titled "Wipe-Out."  I guess we can add that to the long list of other skills the Hardy Boys possess, including airplane piloting, dirt bike riding, fingerprinting, criminology, code breaking, and, in the case of Joe Hardy, singing while shaking his hips like a girl.

Frank Hardy Joins the Ranks of Such Legendary TV Surfers as Greg Brady and The Joker
Speaking of Joe Hardy singing,  Shaun Cassidy sang two more songs in this episode.  This is the second episode in a row where Joe has sang.  That's a disturbing trend.  Although I did find it amusing that in this episode, just like in last week's episode, Frank Hardy got up and walked away when his brother started singing.  If they're going to have Shaun Cassidy sing in every episode, at least they can make a joke out of it.

That Overbite Would Be Adorable If He Was Five
In this episode the Hardy Boys travel to Hawaii, where Frank is competing in a surfing contest.  While there the brothers get caught up in a hotel room burglary ring, and must go undercover as criminals in order to crack the case.  During the course of events, Frank surfs, Joe sings, and they both romance some Hawaiian waitresses who apparently have nothing better to do than date mainlanders who are only on the island for the weekend (Here in my home of Las Vegas, we have girls who date tourists, too.  But we don't call them "waitresses."  We call them "prostitutes.").

Frank Hardy is the Meat in a Bikini Girl Sandwich
The episode tries to build some suspense by making it look like the Hardy Boys might have really turned to a life of crime.  Of course this is a bit too ridiculous to actually believe, so really the only suspense was in trying to figure out what their plan was.  But still, even without the suspense, it's still a fun episode full of surfing, singing, sinister characters, girls in bikinis (if you're in to that sort of thing), and Shaun Cassidy in short shorts (if you're not).

Shaun Cassidy's Inner Thigh
Rating: 3 Robots (out of 5)

Shaun Cassidy - Surfin' USA

More screencaps after the jump...

Surf the Lighntning

Frank Looking Smug

ABC Sports Mustache Man

Muscle J. Shirt Interviews Spicoli

Joe Hardy: Photog

Temporary Girlfriends

"Hey Joe, I Forget, Which One's Mine and Which One's Yours?"

Mr. Surfing Man

Muscle J. Shirt Interviews Frank

Douchebag Surf Creep

Frank Hardy and Generic Surfer Number Two

Wett Butts

Driving Down The Coast

Mildly Ransacked Hotel Room, Part 1

Mildly Ransacked Hotel Room, Part 2

Brothers Talk Side By Side

Hawaiian Police Officer is Not Impressed by Joe's Fluttering Eyelashes

Elvis J. Shades Spies on the Boys.  Is He FRIEND or FOE?!?

"My Brother and I Enjoy Standing VERY Close to Each Other, Officer.  Is That Against The Law?  Last TIme I Checked, Hawaii Was Still In America."

Hotel Room Valuables

Filthy Criminals

Illegal Entry

Frank is Accosted in the Night

Joe Hardy Says, "If My Pants Weren't This Tight, I'd be Singing Baritone."

Elvis J. Shades Doesn't Wear his Sunglasses in the Dark.

Joe is Less Confident Than Frank

Angry Tourists

Into the Sea

Parker Stevenson Asks, "Are We Filming This?"

The Thrill of Victory.  The Agony of Defeat.

"Hey, I Just Noticed Something... You Have BOOBS."

Frank's Hairspray Has a Negative Chemical Reaction With The Seawater

A Dramatic Rescue From Two Feet of Water

Bikini Girls Watch the Action

Hawaiian JUICE

"Have You Tried Head & Shoulders?"

Night Beach

Elvis J. Shades is on the Case

Driving up the Coast

The Hallway

The Mysterious Room 106

Watching and Waiting


Hotel Spies

Special Guest Star: Richard Milhouse Nixon

"Seriously, I Can't Feel My Legs!"

Surf Wax

"Everbody's Gone Surfin..." Except for these poor suckers who have to listen to Shaun Cassidy mangle Beach Boys songs.

Surfin' Frank


  1. Funny captions on your slideshow of pictures, but...They aren't said in the movie...

  2. The captions are just silly stuff I make up. It never occurred to me that people would think they were real quotes from the TV show.

  3. this was also not a movie...and i thought the captions were hysterical :)