Wednesday, December 9, 2015

The Children (2008)

Your Weird Uncle's Winter Wonderland Family Film Festival

Well, I think I've finally done it.  I think I finally found the perfect family Christmas movie.  If you've been reading my movie reviews for the past week, you know I've had some bad luck with the movies I've been watching with my three young nephews for the holidays.   Every Christmas movie I've tried to watch has turned out to be a creepy horror movie!  Who even knew there was such a thing as Christmas-themed horror movies?  Not me!  Those are two things that just don't go together as far as I'm concerned.

But I think I finally found a good one this time.  It's called "The Children."  It's about two adult sisters who get together with their children and their husbands to celebrate Christmas.  It's full of cute little kids getting into snowball fights, sledding, making snowmen, playing with toys, eating Christmas dinner... it sounds wonderful!  I can't wait to watch it with my three young nephews.  We're going to watch it right now and then I'll be back with my review.

My Three Nephews (Jimmy, Timmy, and Jimmy) Watch "The Children."
The Children (2008)

Sweet Mother of Murgatroyd!  What was that?!?!  This movie started out just like I thought it would as we watch a family get together to celebrate the Holy Holiday in the snow.  Then the children got some kind of disease... a disease that turned them all into crazed psycho killers!  This movie was a blood filled kill-fest!   Sweet adorable innocent children murdering their parents!  Mothers forced to kill their own children!  Stabbings!  Beatings! Broken bones!  And the blood!  Blood everywhere!   Why God?  Why is this happening?  It's as if this Christmas has been cursed by demons from Hell!  The blood, the blood... so much blood!!!

A Blood Streaked Kill-Kid
Oh, gosh... excuse me folks... I need a moment to calm down.

Dead Daddy
I've had it up to here with all these sick freaky movies, I'll tell you what!  I don't know what to think about my buddy Larry over at Hollywood Blockbuster Video.  He must be some kind of creep-o if he thinks these are appropriate films for family fun time!  Well, I'm not going to watch anymore of these sick flicks, that's for sure!  I'm going to return them all tonight, and I plan on giving Larry a piece of my mind while I'm at it.  Hopefully I'll be back tomorrow with some REAL family Christmas movies, like "Miracle on 34th Street," or "Frosty the Snowman."  Tune in next time, when the family fun will finally begin like it should have from the beginning!  Until then, Merry Christmas!

A Pack of Murder-Happy Kill-Kids
I'm a CREEP for The 13 Days of CREEPMAS
More screencaps after the break...

A Creepy Kill-Boy Watches His Parents Sleep

Family Fun in the Snow

Wagon Fun in the Snow

A Little Girl Talks to Her Dolly

A Creepy Kill-Kid Lurks in the Background

Blood on the Sled

Snow Eye

Distraught Mother With Christmas Tree

Clawing at the Door in Terror

Fending off a Killer Child

Creepy Stare Kill-Boy

Blood Covered Kill-Girl


  1. WAH!!! I have never heard of this glory!! I need to find this!!! Was is it any good?? NOW this is Creepmas!!!

    1. It was a decent horror movie. I liked it, but I didn't love it. It's a bit like George Romero's The Crazies, but with a smaller focus on one family than on a whole town.